Coming to terms with the fact I will forever be the slightly (read very) nerdy girl who loves 90s pop, Metal, glitter and all things Disney, Harry Potter and anime, was the easiest yet one of the most difficult things I ever had to do. Difficult because being a bit of a dork isn’t very cool; I really wanted to be cool when I grew up (I hear my younger brothers snorting at even the idea of me being cool). Admitting my somewhat unique nature was easy because life just became so much simpler not giving two hoots what anyone thought. You either ride this crazy magical Disney Express with me, or we can pass each other by and wish each other the best. Unfortunately this semi professional interneter doesn’t have time to worry about being cool when teaching 10 hour days, so what changed? Four words. Random acts of kindness.
I first heard the term three years ago and now I hear it all the time. Who has time for that, what even does that mean and won’t other people think I’m stange? These are just come of the questions that popped into my head, and to be honest, I still don’t have the answers. What I do know however, is I haven’t heard anyone tell us to be kind to ourselves, the most difficult act of kindness there is. So let’s talk about how by celebrating ourselves, we are performing the biggest random act of kindness. Being a decent and humbled human being.
First of all know that you got this. What you’re feeling is normal. You’re not strange or weird, in fact other people are probably weird and you will find your people in the weirdest of places. I found my people in a random musical theatre society at uni in 2009, in a cat caffè in Beijing in 2015 and during an Italian summer camp THIS year (shout out to all you awesome people in my little world). So here are a few things I wish I was told at sixteen and should probably listen to now as an ‘adult’- what ever that means.
- What was meant for you will always be for you so don’t become impatient waiting for something that your heart shrinks two sizes too small and you become self sabotaging and desperate and depressed mean old Mr Grinch. Celebrate the small things.
- Continue getting good grades or results at work and know you have given it all you can right now. If you get that bonus or good grade celebrate it and share some chocolate around the office, or classroom. Imagine if you celebrating a good grade/ review with chocolate led to a domino effect of people bringing baked goods into class, we would all need to loose a few pounds but my god we would have the best working environment.
- That said, always remember if you keep doing what your doing, you will keep getting what you’re getting. If you’re not happy with what you’re getting, change what you’re doing and move towards what you actually want (I refer back to number one) and allow yourself to be happy. Celebrate by treating yourself to weekend of Netflix and chill time if being outgoing isn’t your thing and give yourself the time to recoup.
- Continue hanging out with people (even if they’re not your people) we are social animals and are not designed to be alone. Besides, how can you meet your people if you’re always at home wondering where your people are at. They’re not under your couch, that’s for sure. Well they might be, but that’ll be a bit weird.
- Continue saying yes to new experiences even if they scare you (I refer back to number 4). If anything, you’ll get a few Instagram worthy pictures that may inspire others to get out of their homes and explore something new too.
- Continue practicing kindness and being non judgmental. Smiling at homeless people, even if you can’t afford to give them anything, or don’t want to. Smiling when the cashier is giving you change, even if she’s being a bit grumpy. Saying thank you and have a good day with a smile to your Starbucks guy not only is a decent human thing to do but smiling gives you less frown lines and releases endorphins which makes you feel happier anyway.
- Don’t let people make you feel less than or patronised. If you have asked someone to stop and they continue, they have chosen to disrespect you and your boundaries and you should give yourself a high five for letting go of negativity. If by loosing you they realise their behavior wasn’t acceptable, better for the world. If they don’t, you now have time and energy to spend on the good things and people in life. Positivity is more infectious than headlice at an elementary school folks.
- Don’t be afraid to say no to bad situations, people and things. It doesn’t matter if its going to make you look like a dork or weak. You were not designed to spend the little time we have in this life to do or think about things that don’t serve us and make our own little world, and the worlds of those who interact with us, a better place.
- Don’t hide your worth and above all, don’t forget how truly amazing you are. When we respectfully ask for what we know we are worth, we are demanding respect and politeness not just from ourselves but from other people. Don’t be afraid to show you’re not comfortable with how people are treating others either.
- Speak to and about yourself (and others) like you would speak to a shy child, encouragingly. There are so many people waiting to knock us down or trip us up or talk down to us, you don’t need to add your own words into the mix telling you you’re not good enough. You are good enough. Period.
If you don’t celebrate you and the little achievements in your life, nobody else will. Don’t wait for someone to tell you how great you are until it’s too late and you’ve spiraled deep down that dark rabbit hole. While you’re at it, show someone else you can see their worth today too and spread a little kindness, even if it’s an ‘I’m so proud of you’ message on WhatsApp.
What will you do to celebrate yourself today? Tell me in the comments or with #tttkindess You were created to be outstanding!
Good luck! Nathalie x